GENERAL ELIGIBILITY:

MEMBER IN GOOD STANDING: Temple Judea’s policy is that the family of the B'nei Mitzvah be current members of the temple, with all financial obligations satisfied, during the entire preparation period and membership year in which the service takes place. Families who resign their membership during the preparation period will not be permitted to hold their service at Temple Judea.

AGE: While it is typical to select a B'nei Mitzvah date closest to the Shabbat on or after your child's 13th birthday, the service may be held at any Shabbat after a student who has completed the program turns thirteen. Any date you reserve may not be more than 30 days before your child's thirteenth birthday without special dispensation from the clergy team.  

EDUCATIONAL REQUIREMENTS: To achieve the best possible outcome, we hope students will begin their Jewish education as early as possible, but no later than 4th grade. For 4 consecutive years leading up to their B'nei Mitzvah, your child must either be concurrently enrolled in and regularly attending Religious School at Temple Judea, including Judaic & Hebrew studies (or have attended a different Religious School for part of that time) OR they may attend a Jewish Day School (VBS, Heschel, Elan Rimon, Kadima, Wise, Beth Hillel, Adat Ariel El, or Milken). Every student will be expected to meet a minimum Hebrew requirement as well. Exceptions to educational requirements may be made at the discretion of the clergy team. Accommodations may be offered for students with special needs. Private tutoring is also available at an additional fee for students who might benefit from additional and targeted assistance.

DEMONSTRATED COMMITMENT: A B'nei Mitzvah is the culmination of years of preparation. It is up to the discretion of the clergy team to push back a B'nei Mitzvah date if a student is repeatedly absent, has not demonstrated their commitment or fulfilled their levels, or is simply not yet ready. 

SIGNED CONTRACT & PAID FEE: Member families must have a signed contract and pay any related fees before a service will be held. Payment timelines and requirements are listed in full on the contract, along with policies and requirements. Financial assistance may be available if needed.

RESERVING A DATE:

PROCEDURE FOR SELECTING A DATE: When your child is 10, you will be invited to an orientation meeting, where this will all be explained in person. Subsequently, you will receive an online form via e-mail in which you will be asked your preferences for date, time, and location. To best help you make your choices, you will be given a list of available dates along with holidays that populate the year. Please be sure to have that handy when filling out the form. Dates will be assigned in order based on a randomly generated lottery number, which will be assigned to all forms received by the due date. We feel confident that this is a fair and equitable system. We will try to accommodate everyone’s first choice. From time to time there are some conflicts and we will call you personally to work out these options in the spirit of Jewish values and ethics. No date will be confirmed without a signed contract.

If you're unable to choose a date when your child is 10, please call our office and we will be happy to assist. There are always available dates in the calendar; however, dates will be assigned on a first-come-first-serve basis. Kiddish, luncheon, and reception reservations MUST be made in advance and have a signed contract. Please contact our B'nei Mitzvah coordinator to reserve a space.

PICKING A DATE BASED ON YOUR CHILD'S BIRTHDAY: Typically, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony takes place on or shortly after the 13th birthday, so you may choose the Shabbat closest to that date. We request that no date is selected more than 30 days prior to the birthday. 

PICKING A DATE BASED ON TORAH PORTION: The Jewish system of reading Torah is as follows: the Torah is divided into 54 portions. These portions are assigned in order (and sometimes combined) to make up the 52 weeks of the year. Everyone around the world will be reading the same portion of the Torah on the same Shabbat. Some families like to choose their date based on the Torah portion that the child will read. If you would like a particular portion, feel free to contact our Cantorial Staff, all of whom can tell you which portions fall close to your child’s birthday.

NON-SHABBAT DATES: On occasion, families have a need for a non-Shabbat service option. If need be, we can discuss holding a service on the other traditional times the Torah is read: Monday, Thursday, or Rosh Chodesh (new moon).

*A note about summer: If you typically travel or send your kids to camp all summer, please consider holding your ceremony either before the summer, or substantially after, so you allow your child the time to achieve their best potential.

POLICIES REGARDING THE SERVICE:

SHARING THE SERVICE: Temple Judea does not double up on separate families sharing the Bimah for their ceremony. Each ceremony will have a Rabbi and a Cantor officiating!

SERVICE START TIME: Every morning service begins at 10:30am and typically concludes at 12N. Our afternoon service is held at 5pm and typically concludes at 6:30pm. We never alter service start times. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is not a private life cycle event, as the child is welcomed into the community. While the reception may of course be private, the service is open to the entire community, and therefore the times may not be altered. 

MORNING  VS. AFTERNOON SERVICE:
Morning: The long tradition of our people is to read Torah on Saturday Mornings, and our Shabbat morning service is joyful and full of music. There is substantial opportunity for a student to shine at this service, because there is more flexibility in the liturgical prayers, and there are more options for musical expression. 
Afternoon: This service is more limited in liturgical choices, and therefore there is less music. The student still chants the same amount of Torah and Haftarah, as in the morning. Havdalah is included in the afternoon service between the holidays of Sukkot and Passover. During the summer months, the service concludes with the sun high in the sky; you may opt to hold a Havdalah ceremony at your evening reception during these months.

SERVICE LOCATION: We hold all of our Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies at the temple’s sacred spaces, either in the Goor Sanctuary, which seats up to 500 or in our Chapel which comfortably seats 110. We do not perform ceremonies off-site. Livestream capacity and recording are only available in the Goor Sanctuary.

CLERGY PARTICIPATION: About six months prior to your service, you will be notified of the participating clergy (of course barring unforeseen circumstances). We assign clergy based on availability. Currently, all our clergy teach the 6th grade Tuesday Night Religious School class, and our cantors teach the B’nei Mitzvah seminars (Wednesdays) as part of every child’s preparation. Our goal is that by the time your child has completed 6th grade, they will have the opportunity to study with every member of our clergy team.

EREV SHABBAT BEFORE THE SERVICE: Your family is invited to participate in the Erev Shabbat service, the Friday night before the B'nei Mitzvah, where your child will chant the Kiddush.  If you wish to participate in this additional service, your attendance must be confirmed in advance.

PHOTOGRAPHY / VIDEO MONTAGE:  During the service itself, photography and videography is permitted as long as the personnel remain in the back of the room and are stationary. No flash photography or noisy cameras are permitted during the service. Also, photographers will often meet with the family and take the majority of pictures on the day of the service, an hour to 90 minutes preceding the service. Occasionally a family will want to have these pictures taken on another day. All photography must be scheduled in advance. We do have specific rules regarding photography in on our campus and all photographers will be required to sign acknowledging receipt of these rules. Also, if you have a video montage for your reception, you will need to bring it on a labeled flash drive in a .mov or .mp4 format, one week or earlier before the B'nei Mitzvah date for testing.

ATTIRE: We ask that you and your family dress in a way that is respectful of the sanctuary and fitting of a religious occasion. For boys, this means a dress shirt, tie, and jacket. For girls, shoulders should be covered by a jacket or sweater. A tallit does not qualify as a cover of the shoulders. The dress length should be long enough to cover the thighs when seated. Shoes should be comfortable so that she can easily carry the Torah throughout the sanctuary, including walking up and down steps.

OTHER NOTES: Temple Judea will provide the bima decor! No flowers please, as we do not customize the bima. We also do not permit throwing candy after the service. 

THE RECEPTION:

GENERAL POLICIES: Kiddish, luncheon, and reception reservations MUST be made in advance and have a signed contract. 

If you select a 10:30am service, you may choose:

• A reception immediately following the service (usually 12pm to 4pm) catered by Scott Roeb Catering & Events and with use of entire Social Hall. This is our most popular option.
• An extended kiddush, catered by either Scott Roeb Catering & Events or Women of Temple Judea. An extended kiddush lasts no more than 90 minutes, there is no dance floor, limitations to outside vendors, and can only be booked up to 14 months in advance of your date. You will be offered an appropriate available space on campus to meet your party’s needs.
• A reception in the evening, catered by Scott Roeb Catering and Events. When selecting this option, many people also choose to have an extended kiddush luncheon (assuming availability) immediately following the service.

If you select a 5pm service, you may choose:

• An evening reception on campus immediately following the service, catered by Scott Roeb Catering & Events. Music, dancing, video montages, decorations, and more transform the Judea and Solael Rooms for the duration of your event.

RESERVE YOUR EVENT: To reserve your reception at Temple Judea, when you complete your Temple Judea B'nei Mitzvah contract, indicate type of reception/event, your date, and include the required deposit payment. This deposit covers a portion of the room rental, maintenance and security fees, which are payable to the temple. It is refundable up to 18 months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In addition, you will have a separate contract with Scott Roeb Catering and Events.

CATERING: If you are having an extended Kiddush, it may be catered by either Scott Roeb Catering & Events or Women of Temple Judea.  Scott Roeb Catering & Events is our exclusive caterer for receptions. He has over 20 years of experience in making celebrations meaningful and special. 

OUTSIDE VENDORS: All outside vendors must be cleared in advance of any event. We have specific rules regarding outside vendors on our campus, including insurance requirements. All outside vendors will be required to provide proof of insurance and sign acknowledge receipt of Temple Judea's rules. 

FINANCIAL POLICIES:

MEMBER IN GOOD STANDING: Temple Judea’s policy is that the family of the B'nei Mitzvah be current members of the temple, with all financial obligations satisfied, during the entire preparation period and membership year in which the service takes place. Families who resign their membership during the preparation period will not be permitted to hold their service at Temple Judea.

FEE: A one-time Bar/Bat Mitzvah service fee covers all expenses related to the service including individualized instruction, all preparatory materials, study and rehearsals with the clergy, piano accompanist, bima decor, the Friday night Oneg Shabbat. This fee does not include any additional private tutoring that families may elect to add. This is also separate from any religious school or membership fees.

BILLING: You will be billed a portion of this fee in order to hold your date, and the remainder to be paid over time.  This fee must be paid in full a year before the date in order for the formal process of B’nei Mitzvah preparation to begin. 

SIGNED CONTRACT & PAID FEE: Member families must have a signed contract and pay any related fees before a service will be held. Financial assistance may be available if needed.

CANCELLATION:

If a family cancels their B'nei Mitzvah service, there is a full refund as long as: No formal B'nei Mitzvah training has begun, and it's at least 15 months in advance of the BBM date. For cancellations within 15 months, but before training has begun, we'll refund everything except $400. Cancellations within 15 months and after training has begun are decided on a case by case basis.

If a family cancels their B'nei Mitzvah service, there is a full refund as long as: No formal B'nei Mitzvah training has begun, and it's at least 15 months in advance of the BBM date. For cancellations within 15 months, but before training has begun, we'll refund everything except $400. Cancellations within 15 months and after training has begun are decided on a case by case basis.